When I was 16, my best friend was diagnosed with an extremely rare form of brain cancer. Someone I had known for more than half my life was now dying, and that hit me hard. That same day that he told me of his illness, he told me something else that would stay with me up until the day of his death.
I was crying pretty hard; Brian took my face in his hands and said, "Why are you crying?" I couldn't believe he had even asked me this: "You're dying, Bry! How can I not cry?" That's when he said, "You don't see me crying. I'm not crying, so you can't either." I wiped the tears from my eyes and agreed with him. He never wanted anyone to treat him differently or cry for him.
On October 11, 2013, six days before his seventeenth birthday, Brian Joseph Novreske passed away, just a year and half after being diagnosed.
I was crying pretty hard; Brian took my face in his hands and said, "Why are you crying?" I couldn't believe he had even asked me this: "You're dying, Bry! How can I not cry?" That's when he said, "You don't see me crying. I'm not crying, so you can't either." I wiped the tears from my eyes and agreed with him. He never wanted anyone to treat him differently or cry for him.
On October 11, 2013, six days before his seventeenth birthday, Brian Joseph Novreske passed away, just a year and half after being diagnosed.
After being assigned to write a personal narrative, I had a tough decision. I could write about how Brian, sick or not, had changed my life entirely; or I could write about the relationship between me and my sister, Amanda. In the end, I chose both. I wanted a story to fully depict my loving relationship I have with my sister, but I also wanted to show what it is like to have someone you care so much about in your life that is sick. So I threw one story into another.
In my personal narrative, the main character volunteers at a local hospital to read to sick children. After being assigned Tessa's room, the main character soon learns of the sick child's condition- brain cancer. Tessa represents the scared side of Brian that not many people saw. As the main character gets closer to Tessa, she tells the sick child of her relationship with her sister. The stories of Sam and Amanda are all true. They are the stories of me and my sister. Starting from her birth, I loved Amanda the second I saw her; I knew I had a life-long friend. The middle stages of teen-hood was hard for us. It was filled with fighting and tension, but as soon as Amanda hit high school we grew closer. I like to think we're closer than we ever have been. We have so many inside jokes- we can just look at each other and laugh because we know we're thinking the same thing. I would have never gotten through this rough two years without her, and I know she wouldn't have gotten through it without me. So, yes, I had a tough decision to make; maybe now you can see why I wrote my personal narrative like such.
In my personal narrative, the main character volunteers at a local hospital to read to sick children. After being assigned Tessa's room, the main character soon learns of the sick child's condition- brain cancer. Tessa represents the scared side of Brian that not many people saw. As the main character gets closer to Tessa, she tells the sick child of her relationship with her sister. The stories of Sam and Amanda are all true. They are the stories of me and my sister. Starting from her birth, I loved Amanda the second I saw her; I knew I had a life-long friend. The middle stages of teen-hood was hard for us. It was filled with fighting and tension, but as soon as Amanda hit high school we grew closer. I like to think we're closer than we ever have been. We have so many inside jokes- we can just look at each other and laugh because we know we're thinking the same thing. I would have never gotten through this rough two years without her, and I know she wouldn't have gotten through it without me. So, yes, I had a tough decision to make; maybe now you can see why I wrote my personal narrative like such.
The hospital was chilly and damp. Third floor, pediatric hall, room 317. She was so frail, practically porcelain; white face, bald head, no smile. This is nothing a thirteen year old should be going through. Cancer, they said, was taking over most of her organs. There’s nothing we can do, they said, but make her comfortable.
“Hello, Tessa.” I cooed from the doorway on the opposite side of the room. She didn’t move, didn’t blink, didn’t even breathe. Curiosity took hold of me as I crossed the room to the child. The twin sized bed looked as if it were engulfing the tiny body laying in it. Her arms, sticks; legs, bone; neck, revealing every vein. “Tessa?” I looked at her questionably. Staring out the window, she blinked at her name. “Hi. I’m Sam. I’m here to read to you.” My smile faded as I watched her eyes tear up. “What would you like to hear?” I pulled a few books from my backpack, but Tessa payed no attention. So I decided for her, To Kill A Mockingbird. “Alright, Tessa. This is one of my favorites.” Pulling up a chair, I began to read. After the first two chapters, Tessa had fallen asleep.
“Maybe you should come back tomorrow. I don’t think Tessa is feeling very well today.” The nurse told me. He was young, barely over twenty-five, with deep chocolate colored hair and bright blue eyes. His smile, warm and inviting. I nodded, packed up my things and went home for the night.
The next day I came back to the hospital, taking the same route to the same ward to be greeted by the same nurse. His name tag read “Erik.” He escorted me to Tessa’s room then left me alone. I knocked on the door; hearing no answer, I let myself in and walked over to the chair which was in the same spot as yesterday. Tessa was staring out the window again, tubes hooked up to blinking monitors strung from her chest and arms.
“Hi, Tessa. Remember me?” No answer. “Well, I’m here to read again.” She sighed as I began to read. Eight pages into chapter Three, to my surprise, Tessa sat up and spoke.
“Stop. Just stop. I don’t want you to read to me. I don’t want you to speak to me. I don’t want you to sit by my bed. I don’t want anyone to be in here. I just want to be left alone.” I knew she was trying to yell, but her weak body couldn’t handle the volume. Instead, it came out in almost a whisper.
“Would you like to hear a story?” She stared at me with a peculiar, dumbfounded expression. When she said nothing, I went on. “I have a little sister Amanda. I’m roughly three years older than she is, and I still remember the day she was born. Everyone crowded into the small delivery room. The room was really hot inside, but there was a different atmosphere. It was loving and inviting, filled with joy. My mother lay in the bed with a small, bundled up blanket in her arms. She handed the bundle to my grandmother, who kneeled down so I could see inside. It was Amanda, all tiny and bald. She was beautiful. Her gorgeous blue orbs stared straight up at me, and, I swear, I saw her smile.” I watched as Tessa became more interested. “My grandmother sat my eldest brother Josh in the chair and handed him my sister; she did the same for my other brother Derek, and I remember,” I laughed, “how upset and jealous and frustrated I was getting because no one would let me hold her. I never knew that my little sister would become my crutch.”
“Your crutch?” Tessa questioned. “What’s that mean?”
“Well, a crutch is something that helps you; it holds you up. I’m lost without my crutch.” I smiled at the truth in my words. Amanda was my crutch, still is, and always will be. “Do you have a sister, Tessa?” She shook her head. “Do you have any siblings?”
“No. I have some cousins, though.” I could see the hurt in her eyes. Thinking about her poor parents, losing their only daughter. I can’t even imagine what that feels like. “Hey, Sam?” She pulled me from whatever trance I was in. “Will you tell me more about your sister?” This question made me smile, inside and out. I had finally opened her up a little.
“Of course!” I knew the perfect story to tell her, too. “You said you have some cousins, right?” Tessa nodded then settled back into her bed. “Well, I have a cousin just one year younger than me, Courtney. She wasn’t always the nicest person- we’re very close now- but all three of us used to fight a lot. I remember one time that Courtney and Amanda got into a really big argument, over something totally stupid, like nail polish, or ice cream, or something. Anyways, the whole blowout ended with Courtney calling Amanda a bitch. And I couldn’t believe it! Like, nobody gets to call my little sister that except me!” Tessa laughed, lighting the whole room with her brilliant smile. “So when Amanda came home and told me this I was like, ‘Ahh no! Ain’t nobody callin’ my sister that!’ So what did I do?” She shrugged her narrow shoulders. “I marched next door to my grandparents house, and punched my cousin straight in the face.” Tessa’s eyes grew fifty sizes larger and her mouth gaped open in awe. I nodded with pride. “That’s right. That’s exactly what I did.”
“But why? I mean, couldn’t Amanda defend herself?”
“Well, I suppose she could have, and still can, but I’m her older sister. It’s my job to protect her. I guess you wouldn’t understand, considering you don’t have siblings.” Once again, I saw her heart sink through her eyes. Before, gleaming with happiness and wonder, her orbs, now, grew dark and teary. “I wanted to name her Pickles.”
“What?” Tessa giggled, perking up again.
“Yeah! As my mother was slowly turning into a giant balloon, she asked me what I wanted to name my little sister, and I responded ‘Pickles!’ You see, Rugrats was my favorite show back when I was a kid, and the main character’s name was Tommy Pickles. At three, I understood that Tommy is a boy’s name, so I opted for Pickles.” Now, Tessa roared with laughter. She even snorted, causing her to blush, then laugh harder as I joined in. A knock at the door interrupted us.
“Tessa, your parents are here.” Erik called just past the entry. However, Tessa’s reaction was not one I was expecting. She looked sad, or even angry. I could never begin to understand what she was feeling; maybe her parents were the reason she was so hostile at the start. I said my farewells to her and left just to cross paths with Mr. and Mrs. Franklin, who shot me a somewhat sympathetic look, but did not bother to even nod in my direction. The next day had arrived quickly and, already, I knew what story I would be sharing.
“While Amanda was in middle school, going through that awkward and difficult period in her life, we used to but heads a lot; had fights nearly everyday, mostly over stupid things like whose shirt was whose. But once she began marching band camp just a few weeks before high school started, Amanda began to open up to me more, and that’s when we got really close. ‘Amanda,’ I told her the day before her first day as a freshman, ‘you’re going to be fine! Stop worrying so much.’ Sure enough she didn’t listen to me and woke up with a terrible stomach ache. The first day of school went smooth for her, though. I remember her coming to my locker after last period, chiming, ‘I love my French teacher!’ and, ‘I made it to all of my classes okay.’ She was so proud of herself. She was growing up. I was proud of her, too.” Tessa smiled as tears threatened to leave my eyes. “That day was special, but not nearly as special as the one we had had a few weeks before.”
“Will you tell me it, Sam?” I was very pleased that Tessa had taken an interest in the stories of my life.
“Of course I will. A few weeks before the first day of school, Amanda had called my name from her room. She was crying. I ran from my room in the basement only to meet her at the top of the stairs. I pulled her quivering body into my arms, nearly sending us both tumbling down the stairs. My sisterly instincts kicked in and my first question was, ‘Who do I have to kill?’ ‘They won’t leave me alone!’ She cried into my chest as I sat her down beside me on the steps. I rubbed her back and smoothed her long, blonde hair, asking what had happened and who had done this. Long story short, her best friend Ryan’s girlfriend was telling him lies about Amanda trying to break them up. ‘She’s only jealous of you, Amanda.’ I told her, ‘She’s jealous because Ryan has an amazing, beautiful, intelligent best friend...and she is just a nasty pig.’ After she had calmed down a bit, we giggled while plotting their imaginary murders out.” This made Tessa laugh out loud whilst Erik brought her lunch in.
“Keep talking!” She demanded with a mouth full of butterscotch pudding. “I love your stories!”
“Okay, where was I? Oh, yeah! Well, later that night, my ex boyfriend,” Tessa raised her eyebrows and made googly eyes at this, “had called me. Another long story short, he made me really upset and I began to cry. So cliche, I know. But anyways, I went to the only person who understood.”
“Amanda?”
“Yep. Without a word spoken, I lay in bed with her, crying. She held me, soothed me into a quiet sob, then asked the dreaded question.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Right, again. Are you sure you don’t have a sister?” She giggled and shook her head. “After I told her, she started laughing.” A look of shock spread across Tessa’s pale face.
“What?”
“Yep. She laughed.”
“Why would she do that? That’s terrible.”
“Well, after her own laughter subdued, she said, ‘That’s what you’re crying about, Sam? Really?’ At the time I was so confused, I just nodded. ‘No, it’s not,’ she told me.”
“What? Okay! Now, I’m confused.” She scratched her head, puzzled.
“I was dumbfounded, until Amanda looked at me and said, ‘You are the toughest person I know...and you’re crying over this?’ That’s when it hit me.”
“What hit you?”
“She was right. I wasn’t crying over that.” Tessa waited for my explanation. “Then I said, ‘Amanda, it’s too much for me. Everything. I’m a senior; I’m graduating this spring; I’m leaving you.’ Realizing this I cried harder, causing her to cry with me. I had pushed all of my feelings and fears away; they had built up and all it took was one tear to make them all escape. We laid there for what seemed like forever and just cried together. I told her how I was scared to be away from her and my mom, and she told me that she was scared, too. Then out of nowhere, we just busted out laughing.”
“Really?” Tessa laughed.
“Really. It was the best night we’d ever had together, and it’s my favorite memory with my sister. After that night, Amanda and I just got closer and closer. We did everything together; even being away from each other for one night was practically torture. I love her more than anything in the world.” There was a knock at the door. We both turned to see nurse Erik poke his head through the entry.
“Sorry to interrupt. Tessa, the doctor’s here for your checkup.” Her face grew sad as her gaze turned toward me. As if our bodies were linked, I finally felt the sadness, no despair, she did.
“I know, Tessa. I wish I could stay longer.” I grabbed my bag and kissed the child’s forehead.
“Goodbye, Sam.” Tessa whispered, tears streaking down her white cheeks.
“No, Tessa. Goodbye means forever.” Without another word, I exited the room.
“Hello, Tessa.” I cooed from the doorway on the opposite side of the room. She didn’t move, didn’t blink, didn’t even breathe. Curiosity took hold of me as I crossed the room to the child. The twin sized bed looked as if it were engulfing the tiny body laying in it. Her arms, sticks; legs, bone; neck, revealing every vein. “Tessa?” I looked at her questionably. Staring out the window, she blinked at her name. “Hi. I’m Sam. I’m here to read to you.” My smile faded as I watched her eyes tear up. “What would you like to hear?” I pulled a few books from my backpack, but Tessa payed no attention. So I decided for her, To Kill A Mockingbird. “Alright, Tessa. This is one of my favorites.” Pulling up a chair, I began to read. After the first two chapters, Tessa had fallen asleep.
“Maybe you should come back tomorrow. I don’t think Tessa is feeling very well today.” The nurse told me. He was young, barely over twenty-five, with deep chocolate colored hair and bright blue eyes. His smile, warm and inviting. I nodded, packed up my things and went home for the night.
The next day I came back to the hospital, taking the same route to the same ward to be greeted by the same nurse. His name tag read “Erik.” He escorted me to Tessa’s room then left me alone. I knocked on the door; hearing no answer, I let myself in and walked over to the chair which was in the same spot as yesterday. Tessa was staring out the window again, tubes hooked up to blinking monitors strung from her chest and arms.
“Hi, Tessa. Remember me?” No answer. “Well, I’m here to read again.” She sighed as I began to read. Eight pages into chapter Three, to my surprise, Tessa sat up and spoke.
“Stop. Just stop. I don’t want you to read to me. I don’t want you to speak to me. I don’t want you to sit by my bed. I don’t want anyone to be in here. I just want to be left alone.” I knew she was trying to yell, but her weak body couldn’t handle the volume. Instead, it came out in almost a whisper.
“Would you like to hear a story?” She stared at me with a peculiar, dumbfounded expression. When she said nothing, I went on. “I have a little sister Amanda. I’m roughly three years older than she is, and I still remember the day she was born. Everyone crowded into the small delivery room. The room was really hot inside, but there was a different atmosphere. It was loving and inviting, filled with joy. My mother lay in the bed with a small, bundled up blanket in her arms. She handed the bundle to my grandmother, who kneeled down so I could see inside. It was Amanda, all tiny and bald. She was beautiful. Her gorgeous blue orbs stared straight up at me, and, I swear, I saw her smile.” I watched as Tessa became more interested. “My grandmother sat my eldest brother Josh in the chair and handed him my sister; she did the same for my other brother Derek, and I remember,” I laughed, “how upset and jealous and frustrated I was getting because no one would let me hold her. I never knew that my little sister would become my crutch.”
“Your crutch?” Tessa questioned. “What’s that mean?”
“Well, a crutch is something that helps you; it holds you up. I’m lost without my crutch.” I smiled at the truth in my words. Amanda was my crutch, still is, and always will be. “Do you have a sister, Tessa?” She shook her head. “Do you have any siblings?”
“No. I have some cousins, though.” I could see the hurt in her eyes. Thinking about her poor parents, losing their only daughter. I can’t even imagine what that feels like. “Hey, Sam?” She pulled me from whatever trance I was in. “Will you tell me more about your sister?” This question made me smile, inside and out. I had finally opened her up a little.
“Of course!” I knew the perfect story to tell her, too. “You said you have some cousins, right?” Tessa nodded then settled back into her bed. “Well, I have a cousin just one year younger than me, Courtney. She wasn’t always the nicest person- we’re very close now- but all three of us used to fight a lot. I remember one time that Courtney and Amanda got into a really big argument, over something totally stupid, like nail polish, or ice cream, or something. Anyways, the whole blowout ended with Courtney calling Amanda a bitch. And I couldn’t believe it! Like, nobody gets to call my little sister that except me!” Tessa laughed, lighting the whole room with her brilliant smile. “So when Amanda came home and told me this I was like, ‘Ahh no! Ain’t nobody callin’ my sister that!’ So what did I do?” She shrugged her narrow shoulders. “I marched next door to my grandparents house, and punched my cousin straight in the face.” Tessa’s eyes grew fifty sizes larger and her mouth gaped open in awe. I nodded with pride. “That’s right. That’s exactly what I did.”
“But why? I mean, couldn’t Amanda defend herself?”
“Well, I suppose she could have, and still can, but I’m her older sister. It’s my job to protect her. I guess you wouldn’t understand, considering you don’t have siblings.” Once again, I saw her heart sink through her eyes. Before, gleaming with happiness and wonder, her orbs, now, grew dark and teary. “I wanted to name her Pickles.”
“What?” Tessa giggled, perking up again.
“Yeah! As my mother was slowly turning into a giant balloon, she asked me what I wanted to name my little sister, and I responded ‘Pickles!’ You see, Rugrats was my favorite show back when I was a kid, and the main character’s name was Tommy Pickles. At three, I understood that Tommy is a boy’s name, so I opted for Pickles.” Now, Tessa roared with laughter. She even snorted, causing her to blush, then laugh harder as I joined in. A knock at the door interrupted us.
“Tessa, your parents are here.” Erik called just past the entry. However, Tessa’s reaction was not one I was expecting. She looked sad, or even angry. I could never begin to understand what she was feeling; maybe her parents were the reason she was so hostile at the start. I said my farewells to her and left just to cross paths with Mr. and Mrs. Franklin, who shot me a somewhat sympathetic look, but did not bother to even nod in my direction. The next day had arrived quickly and, already, I knew what story I would be sharing.
“While Amanda was in middle school, going through that awkward and difficult period in her life, we used to but heads a lot; had fights nearly everyday, mostly over stupid things like whose shirt was whose. But once she began marching band camp just a few weeks before high school started, Amanda began to open up to me more, and that’s when we got really close. ‘Amanda,’ I told her the day before her first day as a freshman, ‘you’re going to be fine! Stop worrying so much.’ Sure enough she didn’t listen to me and woke up with a terrible stomach ache. The first day of school went smooth for her, though. I remember her coming to my locker after last period, chiming, ‘I love my French teacher!’ and, ‘I made it to all of my classes okay.’ She was so proud of herself. She was growing up. I was proud of her, too.” Tessa smiled as tears threatened to leave my eyes. “That day was special, but not nearly as special as the one we had had a few weeks before.”
“Will you tell me it, Sam?” I was very pleased that Tessa had taken an interest in the stories of my life.
“Of course I will. A few weeks before the first day of school, Amanda had called my name from her room. She was crying. I ran from my room in the basement only to meet her at the top of the stairs. I pulled her quivering body into my arms, nearly sending us both tumbling down the stairs. My sisterly instincts kicked in and my first question was, ‘Who do I have to kill?’ ‘They won’t leave me alone!’ She cried into my chest as I sat her down beside me on the steps. I rubbed her back and smoothed her long, blonde hair, asking what had happened and who had done this. Long story short, her best friend Ryan’s girlfriend was telling him lies about Amanda trying to break them up. ‘She’s only jealous of you, Amanda.’ I told her, ‘She’s jealous because Ryan has an amazing, beautiful, intelligent best friend...and she is just a nasty pig.’ After she had calmed down a bit, we giggled while plotting their imaginary murders out.” This made Tessa laugh out loud whilst Erik brought her lunch in.
“Keep talking!” She demanded with a mouth full of butterscotch pudding. “I love your stories!”
“Okay, where was I? Oh, yeah! Well, later that night, my ex boyfriend,” Tessa raised her eyebrows and made googly eyes at this, “had called me. Another long story short, he made me really upset and I began to cry. So cliche, I know. But anyways, I went to the only person who understood.”
“Amanda?”
“Yep. Without a word spoken, I lay in bed with her, crying. She held me, soothed me into a quiet sob, then asked the dreaded question.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Right, again. Are you sure you don’t have a sister?” She giggled and shook her head. “After I told her, she started laughing.” A look of shock spread across Tessa’s pale face.
“What?”
“Yep. She laughed.”
“Why would she do that? That’s terrible.”
“Well, after her own laughter subdued, she said, ‘That’s what you’re crying about, Sam? Really?’ At the time I was so confused, I just nodded. ‘No, it’s not,’ she told me.”
“What? Okay! Now, I’m confused.” She scratched her head, puzzled.
“I was dumbfounded, until Amanda looked at me and said, ‘You are the toughest person I know...and you’re crying over this?’ That’s when it hit me.”
“What hit you?”
“She was right. I wasn’t crying over that.” Tessa waited for my explanation. “Then I said, ‘Amanda, it’s too much for me. Everything. I’m a senior; I’m graduating this spring; I’m leaving you.’ Realizing this I cried harder, causing her to cry with me. I had pushed all of my feelings and fears away; they had built up and all it took was one tear to make them all escape. We laid there for what seemed like forever and just cried together. I told her how I was scared to be away from her and my mom, and she told me that she was scared, too. Then out of nowhere, we just busted out laughing.”
“Really?” Tessa laughed.
“Really. It was the best night we’d ever had together, and it’s my favorite memory with my sister. After that night, Amanda and I just got closer and closer. We did everything together; even being away from each other for one night was practically torture. I love her more than anything in the world.” There was a knock at the door. We both turned to see nurse Erik poke his head through the entry.
“Sorry to interrupt. Tessa, the doctor’s here for your checkup.” Her face grew sad as her gaze turned toward me. As if our bodies were linked, I finally felt the sadness, no despair, she did.
“I know, Tessa. I wish I could stay longer.” I grabbed my bag and kissed the child’s forehead.
“Goodbye, Sam.” Tessa whispered, tears streaking down her white cheeks.
“No, Tessa. Goodbye means forever.” Without another word, I exited the room.